MARRIAGE ~ A DIVINE INSTITUTION
MARRIAGE LECTURE ~ MASJID AL QUR'AN MARRIAGE CONNECTION SEMINAR
Allah tells us 30:21 "Among His signs is that He created for you spouses from among yourselves, inorder to have tranquility and contentment with each other, and He placed in your hearts love and care towards your spouses. In this, there are sufficient signs for people who think".
A great sign of Allah, marriage, the divine institution. The husband and wife are created from one and the same source, from among ourselves. A sign of equality of genders as humans, eliminating the deliberation or formal discussions regardng who is better or more important. Allah distinguishes us by our taqwa, our consciousness of Him. If we neglect this sign of Allah, then we create a marriage imbalance rendering the marriage dysfunctional. When one partner believes him/her to be superior marriage dysfunction may lead to misuse and/or abuse of unfounded power. We do not want to base our marriages on dominating influences and/or attempted rule by unfounded acts to achieve a personal or selfish objective.
Stressing the equal value of all humans (possessing rights, qualities etc) and making it the basis of marriage, Allah has laid the ground rules for establishing the peace, by assigning different roles for husband and wives as functional strategy rathaer than a competency strategy, to achieve the love and mercy between the husband and wives.
Women, we are half of the human race. We, with our other half ar both interdependent on one another, reciprocal to one another and never separately or collectively self sufficient, as the whole of the human race is dependent on Allah.
The objective and the goal of marriage in Islam is to enable us to live in harmonious relationship and be free from anxiety and tension. Harmony in our relationship requires justice, fairness, equality and fulfillment of mutual rights. Anything less than that cannot be tolerated, particularly if there is to be some level of harmony and freedom from anxiety and tension in the marriage. One spouse cannot make all the decisions unilaterally and apply dictatorial leadership, causing the harmony and freedom from anxiety and tension to becom compromised or corrupted.
Peace and tranquility is a state of being where there is no tension, there is no anxiety. Of course peace and tranquility is not a perpetual eternal state of bliss, we are not exempt from adversity and hardships.
Allah tells us 2:155-156 "We will surely test you through some fear, hunger and loss of money, lives and fruits of labor. Give good news to the steadfast. When an affliction befalls them, they say, "we belong to Allah and to Him we are returning".
The state of peace and tranquility empowers us to handle our adversity and hardships. Allah tests us individually, as a couple, as a family and collectively as a Ummah. Allah provides us the tools by which we canachieve our state of peace and tranquility. The tools of compassionate forbearance between the spouses, we are naturally inclined to alleviate one another's distress, to bring relief to one another mates. Marriage embraces the power to mercy, a power that is manifested through compassion, forgiveness and humility.
The love we have for one another in our marriages is for the sake of Allah, meaning, it is to gain Allah's pleasure and approval. Love, for the sake of Allah, should sustain us. Do we consider how, Allah expresses His love without limit? Do we consider how Allah sustains us, whether we believe or disbelieve? Our mates are as is; we do not have the right to make them believe as we believe, think as we think or even to mould them as we desire them to be. Allah does not compel us to believe, so how is it that we would attempt to compel our personal differences? Love is a challenge, the challenge to realize our potential and the challenger to bear the rewards of our talents. Love is to respect and value contributions to our relationship, to value our opinions, our school of thoughts, to ensure that we interact with the utmost of respect. How do we love without trust?
Trust is essential to love. Love loses its soul when trust is betrayed and confidentiality and self esteem is compromised. Love fosters that type of care where from time to time, our beloved ones trump our desires. When our patience is tested to exhaustion, we must practice mercy, compassion, forfiveness and humility. Marriage is growth, sometimes the husband out grows the wives, sometimes the wives out grow the husband. Between the partners, one will always determine the level of growth for the other.
Islam urges us to control and regulated our desires, whatever they may be, so that we remain honorable and arespected. Obedience is not blind. Submission and obedience to Allah enhances our working together within the family, towards the maintenance and the solidarity that keeps our families sound.
The husband must be respected and obeyed because he is the leader; not because he is superior. Can you imagine as a parent, an educator, or a leader lacking the authority or being denied the authority which has been entrusted in you, yet you must complete and fulfill your obligations?
Allah tells us 7:189 " He is the one who created you from one soul and He made from every one a mate to find tranquility with it......."
Allah is the one who controls the hearts and it is from Him to Whom we should ask for a good mate, for good in this world andfor good in the hereafter.
Posted at in Islam and Women